NONAMÉ BITSA - P.S.R.C.M.A.

(Pretentious-Sounding Radio-Controlled Model Aircraft)

This is a 'garage-debris' model constructed from bitsa this and bitsa that.

It was meant to cost nothing but suffered from a fault that was traced to the motor only after it had cost several somethings.

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Nonamé Bitsa - instrument of the idle dog-walker.

Nonamé with skis - Are you watching mum? Are you watching now?

Nonamé with lights - fulfilling the desire to be like everyone else.

Nonamé with floats - a childhood dream.

RECIPE for a BITSA (or "Why do we have a pile of complete smeg in our garage?")

1. Bringing balsa instead of bamboo to Miss Weir's box-kite-making class warranted a tremendous bollocking for young Rob (aged 8).

The catalyst for this long-held bitter resentment - one salvaged balsa spar - forms Nonamé's fuselage spine.

2. The commercial imperative (and lust for glory) lead to a magazine article (in exchange for simoleons).

The subject of this magazine review provided the wings for Nonamé.

3. A very nice bloke called Eric, who frequents 'Formby Models' kindly offered some lovely sheets of Depron.

The Depron foam was seized esuriently and now forms the major part of Nonamé's fuselage.

4. Building a model is easy, unless you're a lazy J Hunt, in which case you may get no further than creating some tail surfaces.

Being a lazy J Hunt meant that tail surfaces from an incomplete concept were readily available for the Nonamé project.

5. The vicissitudes of life caused a sister-in-law to disassemble one 'Scientific Cowboy' radio-controlled aircraft.

After a massive-deceleration event, the undercarriage required for Nonamé was liberated from this strangely-named model.

In short, the ingredients for a Bitsa model like this are:

Animosity, Capitalism, Greed (much the same thing), Sloth and Fate (or femme fatale).

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